yes. I will soon lose my job, but it’s because of technology.

Self-driving cars are about to become a reality.It’s too early to say how they’ll steer without me

I’m a professional backseat driver, but my actual location is always sitting next to a human driver.

It’s not an easy task as I have to be conscientious and able to instruct my partner and encourage him to look the way.

I consider myself a traffic director, and other people naively think any of my business is irresponsible. Less than:

“You are trying to slow down.”

“You are driving too fast.”

“Keep your eyes on the road.”

“Stop looking at babes in bikinis.”

“Oh, you are so naive.”

“That’s not her real nose”

“Or chest”

“Is that the tooth?”

“She’s probably a Hollywood starlet.”

“Oops, is that Kardashian?”

I remember one time someone’s prayer seemed to come true. I heard someone whisper. Snow and wind are improving your clinging skills. ”

After that, I got laryngitis and became unable to speak.

The next day, the driver checked my ears in the car to make sure the hearing aids were on. Then, because of the eerie silence, he thought he had left me at home and started turning back.

These job-robbing self-driving cars would make my important contribution to the world obsolete, so I asked Siri, my phone assistant, to record my suggestions for drivers for posterity.

First, she seemed to be writing my to do and not to do list. Then she stopped and cried. Get out of the car! ”

It’s mine, not Siri’s. But she knows too much and revealing it could ruin my life, so I hitchhike home.

When I’m safe and out of her control, I switch to Alexa Grandma with hearing aids.

I was thinking of becoming an Uber driver, but I learned they were considering driverless.

FYI: January, currently looking for a job.

Humor columnist and Laguna Woods Village resident Jean Marshall is the author of adult humor books such as Dancin Schmancin With the Scars. She has also written ambitious books for children, The Toothbrush Who Tried to Escape and Little Hero. In 1986 she founded the International Humor and Healing Institute. She is a clinical hypnotherapist, television host and media humorist. She is and she is, above all, her proud great-grandmother. Please contact her at JanMarsh@aol.com.


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